Three Months of Hell

Those three months after he came back where probably the worst in my life. They were also a big factor in my development of depression. Every day we would wake up and have to pretend we were a perfect family. When dad went to work, ( and we knew he was still seeing the lady) mom would yell and scream about the house work and that everything had to be completely clean before dad got home. And when dad did get home we would sit down for a family meal in silence. Because no one outside the family knew that dad had left in the first place, mom made a point to go on family outings with her friends and their families where we would pretend to be the perfect family. Eventually my depression got worse, and I stopped eating. My mom still forced me to eat dinner with them so I didn't stop eating completely. I felt like that horrible life was going to continue forever. The funny thing is, my mom didn't even know I had depression. She blames it on teen girl hormones.  Suicidal thoughts aren't usually a hormone thing. That sentence is one  have never admitted before today. I know I have a problem and I'm trying to get better. Yes I still have days that I just want to end it all, but the truth is life has been getting beter for me. And things will get better for you too. I know you've prbably heard that a hundred times but it is true. Just keep saying to yourself one more day, just hold on for one more day.